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I am empress with the second pic I’d love to here from you

(Source: reactiongifs)

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hey beautiful .. ur hella sexy .. Text me if ur interested …

(Source: reactiongifs)

How to be somewhat terrifying in 3, 2, 1

Him: “Morning! I’d like to know more about you.”
Her: “good evening. what would you like to know?”
Him: “I wanna know everything”

Sometimes you think it would be funny to reply

Him: “marry me??!?!”
Her: “that was easy.”

*Cue silence*

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I think the ability to make out during “Game of Thrones” would be the zenith of my adult life.

(Source: disagio-mentale)

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Yo yo, your hot! You should come to the gym with me and let’s pump some iran…… … …. ……… No, I’m just screwing around… I do think you’re attractive though. It’s 6 PM, let’s throw caution to the wind and have a drink over awkward silences which tend to happen when strangers meet. Even better, we could meet and sit in silence and turn that shit into performance art. I for one am tired of the mold. Help me smash it and show the World there is life after the awkwardly entertaining OKCupid meet up… OR, write me off as one of the fools who dared. In which case, you can go pump iran yourself. Boom.

(Source: whatshouldbccallus)

When OKC describes me as arrogant

(Source: giphy)

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Would you like to discuss what led you down your path of disbelief?

(Source: neonchopsticks)

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Hey do you like sex with me?
I don’t know…we haven’t done it yet.
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WOAH THERE!
I came across your profile and thought you’re gorgeous! Absolutely stunning! I LOVE your elegant and aesthetic cheek bone structure!
I’m Russian ( I moved here when I was 9 so I can speak read and write fluently ;p), have 3 tattoos ( but theyre kind of crazyy idk if you can handle them =p) ahah
I love going out to restaurants for bomb sushii!! and the beachhh!! and dancing!!! I LOVE DANCING! Hookah is amazingggg too!
I also love staying in at home and watching a good movie and cuddling!! I drink a bit when I go out to a bar or club.
I’m a very kinky yet romantic guy like
if you let me between your legs I’ll eat my way to your heart haha
Lol just trying to be silly :p
On a serious note though, let me take you out dancing sometime! or lets roll a fatass blunt on the beach!
Yes! Let’s roll a fatass blunt on the beach and then I can let you between my legs! Life has never held so much promise for me before now!